Becoming Mum – part 3

25 Jan

 

I lay on the operating table and cried. It was the first time I had lost control of my calmness, since the start of it all with the ‘no nonsense midwife’ the day before. I don’t remember the details of how the op started, I just know it was quick. As I lay quietly crying the anaesthetist turned to me and told me it was OK and I wouldn’t feel a thing. “But I can, I can feel every snip of the scissors crunching through me”
The anaesthetist looked distraught. Amidst all the urgency, everyone had forgotten about me having some feeling. He hadn’t realised, and the original person looking after me had long gone home, ill. The doctors performing the op couldn’t stop, they had minutes to get baby out. The anaesthetist told me he would ‘put me out’ with a general. For some reason I’ve always been petrified about this idea, and I lost it a bit. I cried lots and begged him not to do that. I told him I could feel almost everything, I described what I felt and he knew I was right. Though I could feel way too much, there was a tiny bit of loss of sensation. A touch of the sharpness was taken away. He was brilliant from that moment on. He begged me to have the general but accepted I wasn’t going to and supported me as much as he could. He stayed right by me and talked me back into a calm state.  Suddenly I heard him, I heard my baby. The odd thing was, that he wasn’t out yet! His head was out and he had taken a breath, but his body was stuck. It didn’t matter, he was breathing and was OK. From that moment on, I felt no pain. A short while later the doctors managed to get him out, they held him to me, I was a Mummy and I loved him.
It turned out that I was right all along, my baby, Rural Teen, had indeed been stuck, probably for a long time. One side of his forehead had been stuck on one side of my pelvis. All my contractions had just pushed him into it again and again. No wonder the poor boy was distressed! He has a huge dent on his head and his face was swollen. He was never going to come out naturally as he couldn’t move away properly. He was 10lb 2 1/2oz and  very long too!! He ran out of room in my womb long before he was born. The midwives suggested that I may have had gestational diabetes. I had been tested for this and found to be borderline. I was not treated or monitored, in fact I was told nothing and left to carry on. I wish I had known. If medical professionals had listened to my concerns and talked with me then it’s unlikely that any of it would have happened. I wouldn’t have been left to suffer so badly for such a long time. Then again, if that hadn’t been so amazing in those crucial minutes then neither of us would have made it, thank goodness we did.
When I looked into my baby’s eyes, I fell totally in love. In love with him, & in love with being a Mummy. I knew from that moment on, that being blessed with a child was the most amazing thing in the world. Nothing I had been through in labour mattered for a moment longer. Anything was worth it for one look at those eyes.
A few days later, I wondered to myself, ‘Could I go through this again?’ I most certainly could, and would….but not for a while yet.
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3 Responses to “Becoming Mum – part 3”

  1. Alan Lowe January 25, 2012 at 11:14 pm #

    Thank God I’m a bloke. Thought we had it tough!

  2. becomingcliche February 4, 2012 at 9:18 pm #

    I’m so glad he was okay! Sometimes a c-section is truly a blessing.

  3. Jakilouise (@Jakilouise) February 4, 2012 at 9:46 pm #

    What a birth experience! Especially for your first! Glad everyone was ok in the end. Thanks for sharing 🙂

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