Becoming mum – part 2

25 Jan

 

Someone suggested I take a walk all around the labour ward to take my mind off things. I had been there for 12hrs at that point and welcomed the idea. Little did I know that their suggestion was made with wise insight. Their insight worked well, half way round the ward and the contractions  took a huge leap up. I remember clinging to the wall and experiencing the strongest, strangest pain I had ever known. There was no doubt in my mind, this is what full on labour felt like. I actually surprised myself, I had been so scared about it, that I didn’t know how I would cope. For at least 2 months I had been convinced that I would need a c-section as it felt like my baby was stuck. However, once labour had fully kicked in and I received some encouragement from a few people, I realised that I could do this. I felt empowered. The pain of those contractions was unbelievable, but I knew that I only had to be strong for a couple of minutes and the pain would go again. I took each one step by step. I felt the pain building, that put fear into me every time, but I took control and made myself stay strong and relaxed. As the pain died away again, I knew I was one contraction closer to meeting my baby.
I was moved to the labour ward and they monitored baby. This was only about 2hrs after my waters had gone. Sadly baby was showing signs of distress. Meconium had been present in my waters and although I wanted to keep mobile and in control, they decided I had to stay laying down on the bed, strapped to monitors. I was disappointed but very calm. I continued to labour for a few more hours. I had reached 4cm dilation & been in labour for about 14hrs or so. I was tired. I never once screamed or whimpered. I didn’t shout abuse or get cross with people. I just carried on. I badly wanted to move, but they wouldn’t let me. Baby still wasn’t happy and all of a sudden my body started doing something strange. My contractions started flowing straight into each other. As in no break between them. They were just constant and in waves. They didn’t stop at all. As I was so tired, this became very hard to deal with. Staff rushed a team in to see me. They offered me gas & air, which I took. I can’t say it did anything for the pain at all, but it did give me something else to concentrate on…it kind of helped a bit. Doctors offered me an epidural, I declined and told them that I was coping so I wanted to see how far I could go. It was at this point that I realised I didn’t really have a choice. They explained that they were certain I was in for a tough time and had a long way to go. I told them that I still felt baby was stuck and I would need a c-section. (even though I didn’t want one!) they brushed my comments aside but their faces told me different.
I was getting concerned now, it was nearly midnight and I could tell that this wasn’t a smooth labour. I wasn’t dilating any further and my contractions were still constant. I think they called it ‘tonic’? I, warily, accepted an epidural. It took about two hours for them to get someone to me. Again I hadn’t screamed once, even though I was in excruciating pain. The epidural itself, I found horrible. I couldn’t bear the horrible feeling of having it done. I got through it, and began to relax a little. I could feel the cold fluid go through one side of my body, it was a very odd sensation, but the thought of a little relief had become appealing. 10 minutes later I started shaking violently, all down one side. They checked me over & found that I had areas on one side of my body that weren’t numb. I seemed to be reacting a little strangely to the epidural and whatever we did, I could still feel things on one side. I didn’t mind, as far as I was concerned, I had 50% relief and had been in labour for what seemed like forever. That was enough for me to pass out for an hour and sleep.
Thank goodness I did. When I woke the epidural appeared to be wearing off already and the pain was as bad as ever. I continued this way (with epidural top ups) for hours and hours. My contractions were still the same, no let up. I lost track of time but it was well into the next day. It went on and on, and I became more and more despondent as I slipped into total exhaustion. At some point in the afternoon (the following day) I was being assessed again. I was still stuck at 4cm, still believing my baby was stuck and still having these tonic contractions. Baby wasn’t happy and a doctor said they needed to go internally and take a blood sample from his head, to check for oxygen levels. Soon after they tested, everything changed. Nobody was calm anymore, suddenly my bed was being raced down the corridors, I lay there exhausted yet full of panic. All I could see were the flashing  bright lights on the corridor above me…they were whizzing past, then i was in a lift, then more lights…Somebody was trying to explain to me, whilst running, that we had to get baby out NOW, his oxygen levels were really low and we were at risk of losing him.
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One Response to “Becoming mum – part 2”

  1. Writing Jobs January 26, 2012 at 1:24 am #

    This was a very nice post. I enjoyed reading your blog today very much.

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